Revised Edition – Part Three
This has been one of the hardest series I have ever written.
I have been sitting on these pages for well over a year, unsure if I should share them. More than once, I almost kept them to myself. But with everything happening in our world today, and after much prayer, I believe the time has come.
This is not just another story. It is one of the most personal battles I have ever written about. It takes me back to one of the darkest moments of my life, when everything seemed to hang in the balance. If you missed part One and Two, I invite you to go here and here and read it before continuing. It will help you understand the journey that led to this moment. My prayer is that, if you see yourself anywhere in these words, you will also see the grace of God waiting to meet you.
“Crazy thing is, out of all life done taught me… Before you get one win you gotta take a thousand losses.”
– Rob Wave –
We often hear stories about the struggles, the hard times, and the challenges that come with being a Christian. They are sometimes called the “good trials” because they test our faith and our trust in God. When you are truly defeated and can only depend on Him for the strength to keep going, that is when your faith can be at its strongest. You are trusting that God will help you get through whatever you are facing.
He will be our guide when we do not know which way to go, and He will be our strength when we feel like we cannot continue. Through these trials, we learn to have faith in Him and trust that He knows what is best for us. Even when we cannot understand what is happening or see what is ahead, we can trust God and His plans for our lives.
Psalm 71:20 – Christian Standard Bible
You caused me to experience many troubles and misfortunes, but you will receive me again.
If you are not in a relationship with God, you may feel overwhelmed by the trials and struggles of life. You may feel broken, torn apart, and lost in this world. Without the hope and security that comes from having a relationship with our Heavenly Father, life’s challenges can seem like they are too much to bear.
You may feel like you cannot keep up with everything happening around you. You may feel tired, discouraged, and unsure of how you will make it through another day. At times, it may seem like the trials will never end and that there is no way out of what you are facing.
“Without God, you cannot overcome the temptations of evil,
the struggles of life, and the hardships.”
The truth is, I didn’t feel like I needed any more anxiety, fear, panic attacks, trials, or hardships in my life at that time. Satan seemed to have the upper hand because he already had so much of what I enjoyed. He was offering me the things I was not ready to give up, and he wasn’t making my life any harder. So, I could have simply continued going about my daily life as usual, just as I had been doing all along, acting as though nothing had ever changed.
But wait. That was exactly why I became The Gambler and put my life on the line. I needed a change. I wanted a change. This “normal life” was no longer an option for me. I was willing to sacrifice myself to either God or Satan because I wanted to escape the life I was living and bring it to an end.
I was being destroyed by a life of drinking, lying, stealing, looking at things I knew were wrong, cheating, being obsessed with girls, idolatry, and depression. These were the things I had convinced myself I needed. They were the things I thought I could not live without. But instead of making my life better, they only brought me more problems, more pain, and more hurtful relationships with the people around me.
Something had to stop. The cycle of despair and the pain I was living through had to come to an end, or it was going to end me. I knew it was time to make a change. I knew I had to take a risk if I was ever going to break free from the life I had become so used to living.
That is why I am here. That is why I became a pawn.
Is pawn even a card term? Probably not. But it sounds good, so we are going to go with it and keep it for now.
It was a risky move, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I knew in my heart that I had to do something drastic if I wanted my life to change. I could not keep doing the same things and expect a different outcome. Something had to change, and that change had to begin with me.
That is why I am here today.
Psalm 107:4 – Amplified Bible
They wandered in the wilderness in a desert region, and did not find a way to an inhabited city.
As God gathered His people, some came from the wilderness, but He guided them towards the Promised Land.
After God has already delivered us, why do we still fall back into the old ways, time after time, knowing they lead to destruction?
Join me in Part Four as we go deeper into the story of The Gambler.
To Be Continued …
Coming Soon – Part Four –
Willie Torres Jr.
8/24/2026
@BeingCrazyForChrist
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