Why me? What do I have that someone more devoted, more knowledgeable, more equipped to teach and guide does not? Why would God choose me to speak, to write, to reach others?
I have been writing all my life. Since I was a kid, I found joy in stories, poems, even trying my hand at music. Back then, it was just for me. Something to pass the time. Something personal. Something quiet.
But these past nine years have been different. This has not been just writing. This has been direction. Purpose. A path I never imagined walking.
Sharing my life, my testimony, speaking about pain, faith, and hope, pointing people toward God and reminding them that He is a promise keeper. I never set out to do this. I never thought anything I wrote would reach someone in such a way that they would say, isabellawolgoth “I admire deeply how you set an example for everyone who comes to your blog. I know, you probably don’t want me saying that, but unfortunately, it is true. In a world lost in its love of materialism, thinkers like you blaze the path toward the unknowable simply by walking.” KC-Ink “Willie. Your willingness to lay bare your suffering and still point us to Christ is deeply moving. This is not theoretical faith. You are living what it means to choose the Cross daily, even in quiet, unseen pain.
I’m humbled by your perseverance and encouraged by your faithfulness in the midst of so much hardship.” KikiFikar “Your witness and praise is so raw and real. Whenever I read one of your pieces (gifts) I always hear “Here I am Lord”. I can feel your faith in every single word. Livora Gracely “Your willingness to write about pain does more than tell a story, it gathers a small fellowship of people who are learning, in different ways, what it means to remain faithful when comfort is no longer the guide.”
Dawn “You’ve been through a lot Willie, but your commitment to share the message of Jesus Christ in spite of your struggles is inspiring to me and others.”
K.L. Hale “Your words and wisdom are always timely, true, and encouraging.” heavensreef “Oh Willie, GOD’S love shines through you to so many people on your blog. It is so so wonderful and my words don’t even tell it accurately.”
Carolina e Catarina “Thank you for encouraging us to spend more Time With God and talk to Him like a great friend. It stuck in my mind: “Do you long to be with God?” God bless your enlightened writing!” Darryl B “Willie, no words. Who knows whose lives you’ve touched at just the moment they needed this encouragement. Jesus is smiling on you, brother.” Anna Waldherr “Your faith shines like a bright light, Willie.” Expansão e Percepção “Willie, through your words, I sense an invitation to presence and surrender. Each moment dedicated to God, each simple prayer, each reflection is an open door to transformation and hope. Your texts remind us that faith is courage, trust, and openness of heart, that when we surrender, we are guided to paths that surpass our own dreams. Thank you for sharing so much light, reminding us that true joy and peace are born when we let God walk with us and guide each step.” Edward Ortiz “There are those who preach the false prosperity gospel, selling Christianity as some kind of easy button that magically turns people toward material riches and a life free of suffering. Thousands fall for this false gospel every year, so it’s nice to read messages containing truth like yours. God bless you, my friend.”
And yet, it has happened.
So again I ask, why me?
The truth is, it is not because I am the most qualified. It is not because I know the most. It is not because I am the most devoted. If anything, I am simply willing.
Willing to be used.
Willing to be honest.
Willing to share what God has done in my life.
Because this is not my doing. These are not just my words. This is His work through me. Every message, every moment of impact, every heart that is stirred, that is God reaching His people in a way only He can.
I Am Just The Vessel.
Do I enjoy writing? Yes.
Do I love building friendships and relationships with others? Yes.
Do I see myself as a disciple?
I am supposed to… but only God truly knows. And if I am being honest, I hesitate to even carry that title, because of the weight it holds.
Some may say disciples are just ordinary men. And that is true. But they are also followers of Christ. They are called to go out and make disciples of all nations. Leaders. Servants. Messengers of truth.
They carry their Cross through trials, through struggles, through pain. They speak the Gospel for all to hear, without shame. Without fear of being mocked, rejected, spit on, or even killed for what they believe.
That is not a light calling.
So I ask myself… am I worthy of that?
And the truth is, I do not see it in myself.
I see my flaws. I see my doubts. I see the moments where fear tries to silence me, where I feel inadequate, where I question if I am enough.
But maybe that is the point.
Because being a disciple was never about being worthy on our own. It was never about having it all together, knowing everything, or standing without weakness. The very men Jesus called were imperfect, unsure, and at times afraid.
Yet they followed.
Not because they were worthy, but because they were willing.
And maybe that is where I stand. Not as someone who has arrived, not as someone who claims the title boldly, but as someone who is learning… slowly, humbly… to follow.
There is a quiet insecurity that many carry. A shyness, a lingering doubt that whispers we are not enough, that we will never become anything of value. Yet it is often those very people that God chooses to use the most.
Look at the disciples. When Jesus called them, they were not scholars, not powerful, not admired by society.
There was Peter, a fisherman who would later struggle with fear and denial. Andrew, his brother, who quietly brought others to Jesus without seeking recognition. James and John, fishermen as well, known for their fiery tempers, even called sons of thunder. Philip, who questioned and tried to reason things out. Bartholomew, also known as Nathanael, who at first doubted anything good could come from Nazareth.
Matthew, a tax collector, was seen as a traitor by his own people. Thomas doubted and needed to see to believe. James, the son of Alphaeus, lived in the background, not widely known, yet still chosen. Simon the Zealot, once passionate about fighting against the government, had to learn a different kind of kingdom. Judas, the son of James, also called Thaddaeus, asked sincere questions, seeking understanding.
And then there was Judas Iscariot, who would ultimately betray Jesus.
These were ordinary, flawed men. Different backgrounds, different struggles, different weaknesses. Some were bold, some were quiet. Some doubted, some feared. None of them were perfect.
And yet Jesus chose them. He walked with them, taught them, corrected them, loved them. He did not choose them because of who they were, but because of what they would become through Him.
He transformed them into vessels that would carry His truth to the world.
God has always worked this way. He takes what the world sees as nothing and turns it into something powerful. Not for the sake of the person, but so His glory is revealed through them.
So if you have ever felt like you are nothing, remember this: God created you with purpose. You are not overlooked. You are not forgotten. You were made to be someone, someone chosen to reflect His love, His mercy, and His grace to others.
Lift your head. Let go of the doubt, the fear, and the insecurity. Those things were never meant to define you.
Because as it is written, Go therefore and make disciples of all nations – Matthew 28:19.
This is the mission. Not given to the perfect, but to the willing.
So stand firm. Walk boldly. And step into the calling placed on your life, knowing that the God who called you is the same God who will sustain you, strengthen you, and finish the work He began in you.
The End
Willie Torres Jr.
5/26/2026
@BeingCrazyForChrist
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Willie Torres Jr. 
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