Willie Torres Jr.

When Trials Feel Like a Curse, Trusting God’s Plan

I want to start by apologizing for the long post, but I need to share what has been happening this year. This is especially for anyone struggling with faith, trusting God, or feeling like they have been cursed. I want to assure you that God is with you through every storm. Normally, I try to keep my posts shorter so that you amazing readers don’t have to spend too much time reading. But this message is powerful, and I hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me. So again, sorry for the length, but please read it—and please know that you are deeply loved.

Many of you who know me, know that I am a Christian. I’m not perfect, and Lord knows I am a sinner with too many faults to count. I struggle daily with fear, envy, and at times, I even question my faith. But I still press on, even when it feels like everything is falling apart.

Being a Christian isn’t a ticket to a life free from trials or suffering; in fact, sometimes it can feel like we face even more challenges after accepting Christ.

When I fully surrendered to Jesus in 2017, I didn’t realize that following Him would mean enduring so many hardships. I didn’t know how deep the struggles would go, and yet, here I am, still holding on to my faith.

I write this to share my experience with those who haven’t fully surrendered yet. I want you to understand that being a Christian doesn’t mean you’ll live a life free from pain or difficulty. In fact, the opposite can be true. The trials don’t stop just because you’ve chosen to follow Christ. I’ve found myself asking, “Lord, where are You?” when things seem to keep getting worse. The struggles this year alone have been overwhelming, and I can’t help but wonder why everything seems to be going wrong at once. But even in those dark moments, I know I’m not alone.

Just a few months into this year, I’ve already found myself in a series of unfortunate circumstances that have left me questioning my faith and even the very trials themselves.

Here is where the feeling of being cursed in my life begins:

On January 2, the company to which I had dedicated 13 years was sold.

The new owners rolled in like a mafia takeover, right after the clock struck 1:00 p.m. They’d been watching us from the Burger King window next door, scoping out the joint like wise guys casing a score. Then, without warning, they made their move. Walked in and took control of the operation, swapped out the computer systems, and started tossing anything that didn’t fit their way of running things.

Meanwhile, my assistant manager- son of the previous owner- played dumb like he didn’t know a thing, lips sealed tighter than a made man at a sit-down. Me? I was caught off guard, heart racing, feeling like I was about to get the kiss of death. Thought for sure this was my final shift.

From 1:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m., when I went home, I was anxious, wondering if this was my last day after all my years of commitment. By God’s grace, I was still here, though I didn’t know for how long.

In times of uncertainty, it’s important to remember that challenges can lead to growth and new opportunities. As the song “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield reminds us, “Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.”

Additionally, the song “Kind” by Cory Asbury speaks to finding strength and kindness even in difficult times.

Then just a few days later, on January 10, I got into my first car accident. It wasn’t anything major, but there was damage to the left front fender of my car, which I’m still waiting to have fixed due to delays with the insurance company. I felt the weight of the situation hit me, and I couldn’t help but think, “Why me?” At that point, I was already dealing with other personal struggles, and this was just one more thing piling on top.

Then, on January 25, I had a moment of frustration at work and walked out after issues with the new manager. The situation got intense enough that the General Manager had to step in, and I was called back to talk things through. But it didn’t feel like things were ever the same after that. That situation left me in a difficult place, feeling uncertain about my future there.

As if that were not enough, on February 6, just one day after my wife and I celebrated our anniversary, our clothes dryer suddenly stopped working. It was only five years old. I called Best Buy, and after several days of waiting, washing clothes at home, and making 20-minute trips to the laundromat with a pocket full of quarters just to dry them, a technician finally came out and informed us that the heater motor had gone out.

After diagnosing the issue and breaking down the cost of parts and labor, he thankfully suggested we order the part ourselves. Not only that,but he also actually walked us through how to replace it. So, we did. Once we got it installed, the dryer was up and running again.

But wouldn’t you know it, the very next day, the washer decided to call it quits.

You can’t make this stuff up. Both appliances went out back-to-back. After more calls to Best Buy, the technician came out on February 16 and discovered that the shifter in the spinner of the washer was broken. He suggested we do the same thing, order the part and fix it ourselves. We did, and now both appliances are working again.

You might be thinking, “Is that all? Are you really that concerned about appliances?” But for me, these issues felt like one more trial on top of everything else. The stress of health issues with me and my wife, financial concerns, and the constant breakdowns, it all got to be too much. It feels like one hit after another, and it’s hard not to think, “Why is this happening to me?”

In these moments, I’ve questioned if I’m cursed, if someone’s put some kind of spell or voodoo curse on me. How can it be that every time I think things are settling down, something else happens? And this is where my faith gets tested.

Galatians 3:13 reminds us that “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.” So, I know deep down that these are just trials, not curses. Things happen in life, even to the good and faithful, and that’s the truth we don’t always want to accept. But that’s the reality of living in a fallen world.

I also think about John 16:33, where Jesus tells us, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” While it doesn’t make it easier to endure these trials, it does remind me that Jesus has already overcome the troubles of this world.

As much as I question why things are going wrong, I also know that these trials are opportunities for growth. Romans 8:37 assures us, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”

The truth is, I struggle with surrendering. I have faith, but when trials pile up like this, it becomes hard not to feel overwhelmed. I tend to try and fix things on my own instead of turning to God and saying, “I surrender it all to You, Lord.” It is much easier to get angry or frustrated, or even to blame others for the difficulties. But I know, as Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” That is what I need to do more often, pause, reflect, and trust that He is working in the midst of it all.

I haven’t lost my faith, but I’m learning to lean more on God. James 1:2-3 tells us to, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Trials are not easy, but they are a part of God’s plan to refine and strengthen us. I’m still trying to embrace this, even as I continue to face what seems like an endless wave of challenges.

If you are considering surrendering to Christ, I want to be honest with you: following Jesus doesn’t mean life will be free from trials. In fact, there will be times when it feels like everything is coming against you. But know that you’re not alone in your struggles. Philippians 4:13 assures us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And 1 Peter 4:12 reminds us, “Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”

So, I press on, trusting that even in these difficult moments, God is using them to shape me into who He wants me to be. Yes, it’s hard, but I know He will never leave me. As Isaiah 41:10 promises, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

But !!! and yes, there’s another but… On Saturday morning, March 15 of this year, I got up for work and noticed a tingling in my right forearm while getting dressed. I ignored it at first, but at work, it kept getting worse. The pain spread and intensified. Around 10:00 a.m., I started feeling lightheaded, so I called my son to pick me up, I knew I needed to go to the ER.

After five hours and several tests, they decided to ambulance me to another hospital. Yep, that’s the kind of year it’s been. At the second hospital, they ran more tests and kept me overnight. The next morning, I had an MRI, EKG, brain scans, you name it, they did it. They treated it as a TIA, a minor stroke, and released me Monday morning with a heart monitor to wear for a week.

That didn’t help much, I left the hospital with no real answers, just more anxiety and panic.

The very next day after being released from the hospital, I am back at work, and honestly, I am miserable. The manager and I just do not get along. We only speak when it is strictly about work, and even then, the tension is obvious. He feels threatened by the relationships I have built with the techs and customers over my thirteen years here, especially compared to his three months. And I feel threatened because deep down, I know my days are probably numbered.

What used to be a fun place to work now feels like hell. It’s only feeding my depression, anxiety, and anger, all of which are the last things I need while wearing a heart monitor.

Fast forward to the end of this story so I can finally post it. On Tuesday, April 15, I had the day off. The next morning, April 16, I got up, got ready, and headed to work. I walked in, set down my coffee, and turned on my computer. The manager asked if he could talk to me, and immediately, I built an attitude. I’d just come back from a day off, and he was already coming at me first thing in the morning.

I said, “Give me a minute,” as I was getting my computer ready to clock in. When I went to do it, I realized I forgot to clock out Monday afternoon, so I asked if he could fix the hours so that I could clock in. That’s when he hit me with it: “Willie, we decided to let you go.”

Just like that, I was fired. No reason, no warning. Just that my services were no longer needed.

So I said “okay,” cleaned out my desk, and left.

What a year… and it was only April.

We’re commanded to remember that these trials – though painful – are only temporary. But that’s easier said than done. How do we stay faithful when the storms keep coming, when the weight gets heavier, and the light at the end seems to disappear?

The answer lies in who God is. He is eternal; unchanging, everlasting, and outside of time itself. Long before our trials began and long after they’ve passed, He remains the same. His love isn’t conditional or fleeting. It doesn’t grow tired or run out. His love is steadfast, anchored in mercy, and proven through the cross. When everything around us shifts and shakes, He is the solid ground beneath our feet.

That’s why I choose to keep trusting, even when it’s hard. Even when I don’t understand. Even when I’m tired. Because I know the One who holds me is Faithful. So, I’ll keep my eyes on Him, believing He will deliver me through each and every struggle, just as He’s promised.

As I reflect back on everything that has happened so far this year, I sometimes find myself thinking, “Am I cursed?” The events feel like they keep piling up, and it’s easy to become blinded to where God is in all of this. But when I take a moment to pause and really look, I see how He has been at work in ways I couldn’t have imagined in the midst of my struggles.

It started on January 2 when new owners took over at my job. It was a huge shift, and I could have easily been told to leave on the spot. Instead, they took the time to show me the ropes and walk me through the new computer program. Though it’s still too early to know if they’ll keep me, I still have a job. That wasn’t just luck; that was God At Work, providing me with grace and opportunities.

Then, on January 10, I had a near-miss car accident. I was driving, and the car in front of me slammed on the brakes unexpectedly. In that moment, I swerved to the right to avoid rear-ending her, but my left front fender hit her back quarter panel, which ended up stopping me from swerving off the freeway bridge and falling off the cliff. I was shaken up, but I can see now that God was at work in that situation, protecting me in ways I didn’t realize at the time. In the words of the song by Carrie Underwood, “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” I have to believe that at that precise moment, that is exactly what He did.

Later on, January 25, I had a moment of frustration and walked out of work. I was angry and upset, but within half an hour, the General Manager called me back in to talk things over and try to work things out. He could have easily told me I was done, that I had quit by walking out, but instead, he gave me a second chance to reconcile. Once again, God Was At Work in my life, offering grace when I needed it most.

And then came the dryer breakdown. It wasn’t a huge issue, but it was just one more thing in a long line of frustrations. But when the technician came out, instead of just fixing the dryer, he showed us the part that needed replacing and suggested we order it from Amazon to save time and money. He even took the time to show my son and me how to replace it ourselves. God Was At Work. That’s God working through that technician, giving us the tools we needed to fix the problem without further hassle.

The next day, the washer broke down, of course. But again, the same technician came out and did the same thing; showed us the part, told us where to order it, and even walked us through how to replace it. I could’ve been frustrated or angry, but when I stop and look, I see how God provided in those little ways, helping us save money and time. God Was At Work again.

Then came the mild stroke on March 15. Yet again, God was at work. Yes, I had a stroke, but the fact that even the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong showed me that this was God’s way of making a way. I came through it okay and was able to undergo some much-needed tests that confirmed my heart was healthier than I had imagined.

Although there are still some health issues beyond my control, some I was even born with, I was told I need to slow down, eat better, avoid heavy lifting, and limit my standing and walking for long distance, and try to avoid so much stress, especially from my job.

That said, I still face many serious health challenges. I continue to deal with nerve issues, pinched nerves, a torn rotator cuff, loss of feeling on my left side, a torn spine, and I am unable to lift more than ten pounds. I still experience lightheadedness that leads to panic, anxiety, and shortness of breath. On top of all that, I struggle with sleep apnea severe migraines and many other ongoing problems. The list goes on and on, but through it all, God’s grace carries me.

Oddly enough, that health scare gave me more time at work. It was a chance to save a little more money because something was about to happen. And then, on April 16, it did. God closed a chapter in the book of my life. He removed me from a job I never would have walked away from on my own. But I needed to. That workplace had become hectic and toxic, stirring up feelings in me that did not reflect the heart of a Christian man. The anger, frustration, and resentment I felt towards my manager and the new owners were not who I wanted to be.

So, God stepped in. He shut that door and gave me time to rest and be still. Because isn’t that what we are told to do? To stop, rest, and be still. To know that He is God. And when He moves, it is not only for His glory, but also for our good.

After just over three weeks of rest, God opened a new door. He gave me a new job doing the same kind of work, located only two minutes farther from where I had been (Yes, just 2 minutes). It came with the same pay, weekends off, paid holidays (even though I just started), and the promise of one week of vacation this year and two weeks next year.

I haven’t had weekends off in over twenty-six years. And on top of that blessing, I will receive full benefits after just three months, something I haven’t had in more than fourteen years.

And yes, in the words of that old commercial, “But wait, there’s more!” I now work with some great bosses, a kind and honest owner, and a wonderful co-worker. The entire staff is filled with good people. I love this place, and more importantly, I love how they appreciate me. They don’t treat me like just another employee; they treat me like family.

God was at work.

Looking at all these moments, it’s easy to get caught up in the hardship and feel like everything is going wrong. But when we find ourselves freaking out over trials and struggles, we must remember to look for God in the midst of the storm. He’s working even when we don’t see it. It’s not always going to be easy, and there will be times when we question why things are happening. But that doesn’t mean God isn’t there, quietly working in the background, showing us grace, and helping us through each step.

I’m learning that, despite the struggles, we can still see God at work if we choose to open our eyes to it. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Even in the trials, God is working for our good. We may not understand it in the moment, but looking back, I can see how He’s been with me every step of the way, guiding me, protecting me, and helping me to grow through the hardships. When we keep our eyes on Him and trust that He’s at work, we can find peace and strength in the middle of our struggles.

So, was I cursed?

No. I was being refined, redirected, and rescued.

What felt like punishment was actually preparation.

What I thought would break me only brought me closer to the One who sustains me.

I see now that God wasn’t distant. He was deeply present in every setback, in every loss, and in every unexpected twist.

He wasn’t just watching from afar.

He was at work.

And He still is.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re in your own season of storms, I pray you stop asking, “Am I cursed?”

And instead begin to ask, “God, what are You doing in this?”

Because the answer might just change everything.

Not only is He present. He is purposeful.

And even now, in the middle of your mess, He is still writing a story far greater than you can imagine.

Trust the Author. He’s not finished yet.

You Are Loved.

Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heart full of gratitude for Your unwavering love and grace.
In times of trial and uncertainty, I find myself questioning and struggling, yet I know that You are always with me.
Lord, I ask for Your strength to face the challenges ahead.
Help me to trust in Your plan, even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
Grant me the courage to surrender my fears and anxieties to You,
knowing that You are in control.
Remind me of Your promises, that You will never leave me nor forsake me.
Fill me with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and help me to lean on You for guidance and support.
Thank You for being my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.
In Jesus’ Name, I pray.
Amen 🙏

Willie Torres Jr.

06/08/2025

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